Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
