had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize