Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
