He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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