I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
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