honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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