And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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