I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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