oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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