My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
