3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
