Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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