i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
