But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
