so explain again why im purple
no
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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