Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
