vagina is talking i cant
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
