The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
