I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
