my sisters under your porch take her home
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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