Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
