WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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