wrigley field is MILF paradise
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
