but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If its not for food we ain't going out.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
