I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
