Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
