I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the day after is always just damage control
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
