last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
