I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
