White coat. Heels.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
