please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
