I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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