I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
