You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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