Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize