I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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