Texts From Last Night

(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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Should have tried again 10 minutes later.

Submitted by NotAnonymous321 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:19pm

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if this is how I got woke up every morning, I would throw out my alarm clock.

Submitted by CapN_Winky on Mar 8, 11 at 5:44pm

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I'm trying to figure out who the bigger loser is here?

Submitted by hacker201 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:56pm

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- ...It's the guy.
  
  Submitted by RyanM on Mar 8, 11 at 6:36pm
  
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  - technically they could both be guys
    
    Submitted by jerm69anl on Mar 8, 11 at 10:03pm
    
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    yeah but that would just be gross..
    
    Submitted by iDreamOfWeenie on Mar 9, 11 at 1:11am
    
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    yay for intolerance!
    
    Submitted by dat_azz_69 on Mar 9, 11 at 10:55am
    
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    I don't think intolerance as much as preference
    
    Submitted by 08GSXR600 on Mar 12, 11 at 1:47am
    
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    Any guy who picks sleep over blowies? LOSER!\nAny girl (or guy) who's nice enough to wake a guy up with a blowie? AWESOME!
    
    Submitted by pennydoll on Apr 12, 11 at 3:21pm
    
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Someone needs to practice their bj skills a little bit

Submitted by Suomen_tytto on Mar 8, 11 at 3:07pm

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- Only my ex.
  
  Submitted by n00bpwnr on Mar 8, 11 at 8:58pm
  
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Proof that guys aren't constantly horny.. No wait that can't be it. Too much teeth?

Submitted by MartianVirus on Mar 8, 11 at 11:58pm

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Who turns down a blow job? Seriously!

Submitted by dumsumbitch on Mar 8, 11 at 5:39pm

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This "Soviet Russia" crap got old a long time ago

Submitted by valekseye on Mar 8, 11 at 5:12pm

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This is obviously fake, women don't listen to men!

Submitted by manlaw6 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:16pm

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must be the poster child for "I suck at life"

Submitted by digthis1 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:51pm

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Nice test. If you walked away and he chased you, he was your bitch. If you blew him ten minutes later, you are his bitch. I bet the latter happened.

Submitted by cfreymarc on Mar 8, 11 at 9:49pm

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OP is a guy.

Submitted by ImKeithStone on Mar 8, 11 at 7:34pm

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Why are people starting to use literally again? It wasnt irritating enough in the first wave of texts that used it unnecessarily?

Submitted by mynamedoesntfit on Mar 8, 11 at 6:13pm

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- It's not just in texts, people actually say it in this context too. Idiotic. How else could he have said/done it other than literally...
  
  Submitted by BobLoblaw138 on Mar 8, 11 at 6:42pm
  
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  - Literally should only be used in an unbelievable situation, to differentiate it from common verbal exaggerations, such as "I just pulled out of the dealership and someone rear ended me literally 2 minutes later." It should not be used in an obvious situation, such as "I got kicked in the balls and I literally hunched over from the pain."
    
    Submitted by RuralNinja on Mar 8, 11 at 7:52pm
    
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U need to work on ur noise control if u sounded like an alarm clock

Submitted by bisssnich26 on Mar 10, 11 at 9:29pm

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Lol awesome.

Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:43am

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Lol that is awesome.

Submitted by ambur on Mar 8, 11 at 3:49pm

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He just wanted you to be more quiet when u blow, less slurping more sucking?

Submitted by p5ychic on Mar 9, 11 at 2:56am

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get better at giving head?

Submitted by zoidberg on Mar 9, 11 at 2:06pm

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Too funny! I agree, your skills might be lacking...

Submitted by just_s4yin on Mar 8, 11 at 3:30pm

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Co za asy!

Submitted by noooono on Mar 8, 11 at 7:23pm

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I would never do that to my morning wood ...

Submitted by aimhigher on Mar 14, 11 at 7:48pm

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wow..thats just sad.

Submitted by Plol1994 on Mar 8, 11 at 10:27pm

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Whoaaaa

Submitted by babycakes0862 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:26pm

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Waking up is the worst.

Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:44am

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I had sex with manlaw

Submitted by manlawgirlfriend on Mar 8, 11 at 4:10pm

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- Cindy?
  
  Submitted by manlaw6 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:15pm
  
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This ones actually funny!!!!

Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 12, 11 at 7:12am

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My babe loves getting woken up like that.. I don't get the "snooze button" ;)

Submitted by girly071410 on Sep 22, 11 at 6:23pm

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He's an idiot

Submitted by bee222 on Mar 21, 11 at 1:37am

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They dnt know what bjs are in russia

Submitted by iletgoalsin69 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:44pm

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Keeper

Submitted by thatguy1020 on Mar 9, 11 at 2:11am

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In Soviet Russia that is how a faithful wife wakes up her husband!

Submitted by rickjames225 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:13pm

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He's a mean fuck...

Submitted by theJoker45 on Mar 29, 11 at 12:59pm

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Toooo funny!!!!!!

Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 10, 11 at 3:43pm

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Check out some funny videos @ http://lmfaovids.com

Submitted by lmfaovids on Mar 9, 11 at 1:18pm

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Hey "cindy", did u regret it? Or is he different in real life?

Submitted by me_in_ur_bed on Mar 10, 11 at 7:38pm

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:50am

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:52am

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Let's see...... you made up a text to post on TFLN and it wasn't a very good one. Awww.

Submitted by suck_on_my_ on Mar 8, 11 at 11:20pm

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Next time he wanted sex itd be "Snooze button"

Submitted by Erinn_Clark on Oct 23, 12 at 7:52pm

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No anal = sexual fail....as you can see

Submitted by Assman_Humpeth on Mar 8, 11 at 3:32pm

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In da hood if our bytch dnt give us head we bytch slap em

Submitted by hoodrat225 on Mar 8, 11 at 4:18pm

145 308
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Comments

Submitted by NotAnonymous321 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:19pm

Submitted by CapN_Winky on Mar 8, 11 at 5:44pm

Submitted by hacker201 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:56pm

Submitted by RyanM on Mar 8, 11 at 6:36pm

Submitted by jerm69anl on Mar 8, 11 at 10:03pm

Submitted by iDreamOfWeenie on Mar 9, 11 at 1:11am

Submitted by dat_azz_69 on Mar 9, 11 at 10:55am

Submitted by 08GSXR600 on Mar 12, 11 at 1:47am

Submitted by pennydoll on Apr 12, 11 at 3:21pm

Submitted by Suomen_tytto on Mar 8, 11 at 3:07pm

Submitted by n00bpwnr on Mar 8, 11 at 8:58pm

Submitted by MartianVirus on Mar 8, 11 at 11:58pm

Submitted by dumsumbitch on Mar 8, 11 at 5:39pm

Submitted by valekseye on Mar 8, 11 at 5:12pm

Submitted by manlaw6 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:16pm

Submitted by digthis1 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:51pm

Submitted by cfreymarc on Mar 8, 11 at 9:49pm

Submitted by ImKeithStone on Mar 8, 11 at 7:34pm

Submitted by mynamedoesntfit on Mar 8, 11 at 6:13pm

Submitted by BobLoblaw138 on Mar 8, 11 at 6:42pm

Submitted by RuralNinja on Mar 8, 11 at 7:52pm

Submitted by bisssnich26 on Mar 10, 11 at 9:29pm

Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:43am

Submitted by ambur on Mar 8, 11 at 3:49pm

Submitted by p5ychic on Mar 9, 11 at 2:56am

Submitted by zoidberg on Mar 9, 11 at 2:06pm

Submitted by just_s4yin on Mar 8, 11 at 3:30pm

Submitted by noooono on Mar 8, 11 at 7:23pm

Submitted by aimhigher on Mar 14, 11 at 7:48pm

Submitted by Plol1994 on Mar 8, 11 at 10:27pm

Submitted by babycakes0862 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:26pm

Submitted by iHaveNoLife on Mar 9, 11 at 10:44am

Submitted by manlawgirlfriend on Mar 8, 11 at 4:10pm

Submitted by manlaw6 on Mar 8, 11 at 9:15pm

Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 12, 11 at 7:12am

Submitted by girly071410 on Sep 22, 11 at 6:23pm

Submitted by bee222 on Mar 21, 11 at 1:37am

Submitted by iletgoalsin69 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:44pm

Submitted by thatguy1020 on Mar 9, 11 at 2:11am

Submitted by rickjames225 on Mar 8, 11 at 3:13pm

Submitted by theJoker45 on Mar 29, 11 at 12:59pm

Submitted by nutsucker on Mar 10, 11 at 3:43pm

Submitted by lmfaovids on Mar 9, 11 at 1:18pm

Submitted by me_in_ur_bed on Mar 10, 11 at 7:38pm

Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:50am

Submitted by djmerrill21 on Mar 9, 11 at 11:52am

Submitted by suck_on_my_ on Mar 8, 11 at 11:20pm

Submitted by Erinn_Clark on Oct 23, 12 at 7:52pm

Submitted by Assman_Humpeth on Mar 8, 11 at 3:32pm

Submitted by hoodrat225 on Mar 8, 11 at 4:18pm

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