so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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