He is an equal opportunity slut.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I am one with the molecules
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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