Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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