that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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