dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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