The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
