i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
