A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
