'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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