Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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