Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
