btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize