Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
