Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
