I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
