I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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