I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
