I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
