The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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