were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
