im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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