We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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