i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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