Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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