I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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