1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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