is your mom at the bar?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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