I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize