His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
