so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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