bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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