why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
