I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
