I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
