I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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