We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize