if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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