i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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