i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
