Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
