Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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