So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I understand Curling. That high.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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