its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
